Chris Dale is a very silly rock bass player

Southdown Hotel Filey	Friday 31st December 2004 "New Years Eve, went to Filey near Scarborough in Yorkshire (that's in England) to the Pillow Talk Big Party in a big hotel by the seaside. Pillow Talk played loads of songs from their first album "Purely Platonic" some of which I'd never heard live before. Then I got up and played some fun covers with them. We did Van Halen's Jump, Kiss Crazy Nights (I never thought I'd ever cover that one!), Gold by my mates Spandau Ballet, Paranoid (of course) and best of all Bon Jovi's Living On A Prayer with Karl Middleton from Twin Zero singing - don't tell anyone he did that or all his hardcore cred will be blown, actually don't tell anyone I did it either. Then we played some Sack Trick songs, but that was gone midnight and over eight pints in so I'm not too sure which ones we tried to play, only that Benny's eyes focussed on different parts of the room at the same time. A top night!"
Tommy Thayer and Paul Stanley	Thursday 30th December 2004 "Last Total Rock show of the year! I heard a rumour Kiss will be touring Europe next year! That'll be amazing! Rumour has it they'll be playing London's Hyde Park, Germany's Rock Am Ring and Moscow's Red Square. I'll defiantly go to the London and German gigs even if it is Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer (I've kind of come to terms with that now)...not sure about Russia...we'll see how it goes and if they announce any more....I really, really hope they do actually tour here and that it's not just one of those rumours....again!"
Christmas	Saturday 25th December 2004 "Christmas, wasn't it?"
America	Wednesdsay 22nd December 2004 "Oh, forgot to mention we got an American record deal the other day with Nightmare discs. That's funny too, isn't it? But not really very news worthy."
Sleeping with a Monkey	Monday 20th December 2004 "Slept a lot....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......"
Camden Barfly	Sunday 19th December 2004 "Camden Barfly. Wow the reaction was beyond all expectations and hopes. Thanks to all of you! For a band that's only got a record deal in Brazil we didn't do too bad to be 20 short of selling out Camden's trendiest venue. It was great to see so many friends and old faces there. The best Kissmas party I've ever had!"
A Giant Dog steals Roo's shoe	Saturday 18th December 2004 "Norwich, Swiss Roo's home town gave him (and even the rest of us to some extent) a very warm Kissmas welcome- a bit like an over affectionate Giant Dog. Later on I heard that one such giant dog had stolen Roo's shoe and that Benny had pooed in a bin...(now spellcheck is telling me pooed isn't a word, so come on then what is the past participle of the verb to Poo?)"
Blonde Benny	Friday 17th December 2004 "Oxford...or ROXFORD as we like to call it. Alan Day the promoter even tried to bribe his way into the title of Sack Trick's favourite promoter (a very tough decision considering the generosity we've received everywhere) by giving us an extra crate of beer to go home with!"
Me Rocking!	Thursday 16th December 2004 "York - an amazing gig as it always is at Fibbers. Maltesers on the rider was a good idea too and openers Blunderbuss hadn't forgotten metal either and finished their set with a rousing version of Priest's Breakin the Law. A tough one to follow that!"
Roo's Metal Helmet	Wednesday 15th December 2004 "Nottingham we nearly missed the gig because me and Roo spent all the journey looking for Dogging spots on the M1. We didn't find any but got to the gig with minutes, nay seconds to spare. But the day was saved by Pillow Talk's extended bling set, Roo's metal helmet and Erdinger Weissbier. You'll be pleased to hear we've just signed a Brazilian record deal! How funny, eh? Sheep In Kiss Make-up will be in the shops in Brazil in the New Year on Hellion Records. Maybe Nando will be stocking it in his record shop?"
Me and my steam inhaler	Tuesday 14th December 2004 "I got a bit worried about losing my voice while shouting onstage so I asked everyone's advice. Dave Cheeseman told me to breathe steam so Dawnie got me a steam inhaler for an early Christmas present. Metal Jay told me to sing long low notes to warm up my voice. Tony Hadley told me to get lots of sleep and gargle with port. Alex Kane and Jef Streatfield both told me to give up smoking. So I tried them all and they all helped loads except for the advice I got from the woman at Boots the chemist. She sold me a throat spray that tastes like (and has the full effect of) aiming mace into your mouth. That didn't help much at all but it was funny watching Robin try it out for me."
Lego's great fun!	Sunday 12th December 2004 "As our trip to Denmark had been so brief I decided to cram in the full Danish experience into ten minutes at the airport. Pølser, Tuborg and Lego. What a great way to end the holiday!"
Cheese & Roo with a Free Bar	Saturday 11th December 2004 "Denmark! There's very good reason we keep coming back to Roskilde. And that's because everything about it is brilliant! The food, the monitors, the beers, the audience, the promoters and venue staff are all quite wonderful. One word of complaint though, we don't mind if a member of the audience wants to steal a setlist after the gig but stealing the guitarists during the gig is not on! As poor Swiss Roo was dragged into the seething pit by an inebriated Dane, how we tried in vain not to laugh (or get him back). Afterwards the effects of an free bar on Sack Trick were a joy to partake and behold. After drinking myself to the point of vomiting (and about ten minutes beyond) I decided to play the sober sensible one and bed down for the night."
My Diary	Tuesday 7th December 2004 "I watched a programme on television about programmes on television. How do they get away with that? So I thought I'd add a diary entry about diary entries....here goes....I've updated the diary page today."
My colouring book	Sunday 5th December 2004 "I got really a bit over excited about a colouring book and crayons at Guernsey airport. I don't think I've done a colouring book for about 30 years now but it was good to see the old skills hadn't left me. I was a bit rusty with first strokes but even Roo had to grudgingly congratulate me for not going over the lines much by the end."
Hotel with a Fountain	Saturday 4th December 2004 "The second stop on our island weekend was that old favourite- Guernsey! With Plan A on the bill, we knew a good time was up for the taking. Guernsey's always been good to us (one day we hope to do a tour entirely of UK offshore islands) but we knew we must have been doing very well because this time we got given a hotel with a fountain outside the front. Fountains are my favourite form of water-based decorative structures. Man-made waterfalls come a close second mind-you, but there wasn't one of them. My third favourite water-based decorative structure would be a late night bar for residents which this hotel did have and Plan A and ourselves thought it would be rude not to take a paddle in it after the formality of the full-force double live blast of metal at the venue earlier."
Me and Roo on the Ferry	Friday 3rd December 2004 "Strangely enough the third gig on our Kissmas tour was on the Isle of Wight. We'd never played there before but everyone seemed to know our songs and stuff and were behaving as if they liked us a lot. It was so nice. The venue liked us so much they gave us a pint of hard boiled eggs to take away (no, really they did). Ben and Robin ate them in the van on the way back and then let eggy smells drift from their bums."
Bruce Kulick signed my album!	Sunday 28th November 2004 "An amazing day! Firstly I heard Pillow Talk bassist Jonathan Hart2Hart couldn't make it to rehearsal today. Guess who stepped in to play with his heroes for the afternoon? Yes, me! That was really amazing playing "Dr Roland Parker" with the real band! Just when I thought it couldn't get much better, me and Cheeseman went up to the Bruce Kulick guitar clinic in Nottingham that night. You know he'd emailed me a little while ago to say he enjoyed Sheep In Kiss Make-up, well now I got to meet the great man in person and get him to sign a copy of the CD for me! He's such a cool guy."
Robin's Naked Rap	Saturday 27th November 2004 "Second Sack Trick gig on the tour, in one of our favourite venues- the Kingston Peel. This time, knowing the mighty Pig Iron were supporting we persuaded Robin to rap as a male stripper as a special treat for them. Needless to say that alone made for a great night and the fact that we sprinkled some magic riff dust in the air only added to the occasion. Roo's put loads of photos of the gig up here."
Jussy's Sack Trick Tattoo	Thursday 25th November 2004 "The Sack Trick tour kicked off in Edinburgh! Fuelled up the Deep Fried Mars Bars we'd just eaten me and Roo and Benny played a silly loud gig. I love doing the gigs with two drummers, keyboard players and everything but sometimes it's good to just rock-out as a three piece. Gets rid of the cobwebs (and mows the lawn). Jussy, the promoter for the night did a great job of doing flyers and stuff all over town so a great atmosphere was already provided for us to pour riffs into. I think in future all promoters of our gigs should have to have Sack Trick tattoos before they book the band- just to show a bit of commitment."
My view of Richie Kotzen	Tuesday 23rd November 2004 "I went to see former Mr Big/Poison guitarist Richie Kotzen do a solo acoustic show at the 12 Bar Club. But you know what, it was actually really good! He's a great singer songwriter guitarist who did keep me watching all the way through even though I could only really see his nose."
Warwick Pro Fet III	Thursday 18th November 2004 "Metal Matty from Magenta joined me as my special guest on Total Rock today and I also got a new Amp! It 's called a Warwick ProFet 3 and it sounds beautiful. I'm going to have fun with this one on tour. The only slight drawback as Roo kindly pointed out is that all the writing on it is in Comic Sans MS giving it a kind of semi-jokey look."
Rough setlist ideas	Monday 15th November 2004 "We had a couple of Sack Trick rehearsals! We don't do that very often. Cheeseman's been in the band over a year now and this was his first ever rehearsal with us. Some bands rehearse for months before a gig, others don't bother too much. We're in the second camp. I personally think it really adds an edge to the band if you know the songs but haven't rehearsed them too much, you think you know where you're supposed to be going and you're hoping everyone else has the same destination in mind. Being under rehearsed makes you keep an eye on everybody and keeps you focused. We usually have a quick busk through the tunes over at someone's house or in the dressing room, then just go for it. But you know what? These rehearsals sounded quite good, maybe we should do more of them?"
Scott Ian	Thursday 11th November 2004 "I interviewed Scott Ian from Anthrax on Total Rock, they've got some new album out called the Greater of Two Evils (it's really good) but I was more interested in Anthrax's history of covering Kiss tunes (they've done Watchin' You, She, Love Her All I Can and Parasite). I wanted to know more about the story that they'd once recorded a version of the theme for the Kiss dolls advert (you know the one..."if rock's your game it's Kiss"...no?). He told me it was true they'd recorded it with the voice overs and everything but they couldn't release it because nobody could find the original songwriter to credit. How frustrating? Maybe it'll come out one day...funnily enough ex-Anthrax singer Joey Belladona happened to be listening in to the show...just as well we didn't say anything nasty!"
Bruce Kulick	Monday 1st November 2004 "This has been a bit of a special day for me. It's not every day that I get emails from members of Kiss but I just got an email from Bruce Kulick this afternoon saying how "cool" he thinks Sheep In Kiss Make-up is. Then he asked why we didn't do any songs from his era. I knew we should have done Eric Carr's 'Too Cool For School'."
Butlin's	Friday 29th October 2004 "Got talked into going to Butlin's in Bognor for the weekend with Metal Jay and Rich Baker. They said it would be fun, but instead it was only funny in a schadenfreude kind of way."
Lots of Stamps	Friday 22nd October 2004 "I've been snowed under with orders for the new Sheep In Kiss Make-up album! It's going great except I've stuck myself to the floor with stamp glue and I've piled all the orders against the door so now I can't get out to go to the Post Office....someone's bound to pass by and hear me calling for help soon."
Sheep In Kiss Make-up	Monday 18th October 2004 "It'll take a while to sink in but Sheep In Kiss Make-Up the third Sack Trick album is finally released. The secret plan is out in the open. I'm so excited! If you like Kiss, then go to www.sacktrick.com right now and order a copy. If you don't like Kiss, then why not? Sort yourself out, start liking Kiss, then go and buy a copy!"
The Internet close-up	Sunday 17th October 2004 "Updated loads of little websitey bits all over the world wide net. The interweb is a collection of hyper-bytes in space that float through computers in people's homes and workplaces. I even put some new MP3s and meta-things on this website"
The New Office DVD	Saturday 16th October 2004 "Got a free copy of the new Office Christmas Episodes DVD from the BBC today. That was very nice of them to send it to me. I bought the last two Office DVDs because it's one of my favourite recent British comedies. Now I get a free one- just for playing bass on "Freelove Freeway" on it (my mate Edwin Morris is also on another song on it). And it was on Top of the Pops the other night, but I missed it due to my weakness for Go West's funky grooves. It's been almost ten years since I was last on Top of the Pops."
Richie Drummie from Go West	Thursday 14th October 2004 "Missed my Total Rock show too to go out on the road/piss with my mates in Go West. Not much metal going on but one of the funkiest bands around. Got to get Greg, the bassist on Planet Bass soon...."
Fatima	Tuesday 12th October 2004 "Fatima, my Mum's dog has come down to stay with us for a holiday. She's great fun and we've got such similar interests like listening to Kiss albums, watching Dr Who videos and running through puddles in the park."
Me and my Schoolmates	Monday 11th October 2004 "Met up with some old school mates from Lampeter to catch up on gossip. The Porterhouse pub in Covent Garden is a much better place to meet up with old friends than that Friends Reunited website- it sells German Weissbier for a start."
Kiss Gold CD/DVD	Thursday 7th October 2004 "My Total Rock show went like an Olympic Show jumping event, but with Metal CDs instead of horses, and rock anthems in place of the hurdles. Best of all I got to record the voice over for the upcoming advert on Total Rock for the new Kiss compilation "Kiss Gold". I believe I am very privileged."
A Hot Air Balloon	Wednesday 6th October 2004 "I'm not one to usually publish emails that have been sent to me but today I received an email that I thought everyone should read. It's from young Jimmy Jirgens (whom some of you will remember does sing for Pillow Talk but does not play for the Latvian Football team). He has had a go at rewriting the lyrics for the Sack Trick "filler" known as "Maths Teacher's Words of Wisdom". He though it could go something like this."
New cuddly Sack Trick T-shirts	Thursday 29th September 2004 "Just took delivery this morning of a large number of new Sack Trick Tshirts....at least I'll be nice and warm this winter with all those layers on....ooohh, hasn't it got cold recently?....Winter's definitely on it's way...etc etc...(see Weather Chat UK). If the weather perks up I might even put some of the shirts up for sale, but we'll see how cold it's going to get first....oh, by the way, they do look a lot nicer than the picture came out on the left."
It's a Wrap!	Saturday 25th September 2004 "Cheese Daveman popped over to my place to take part in the new Sack Trick recordings. He did some very passable seaside shanties all over our riffing, exactly what's needed. (Why doesn't Spellcheck accept "riffing" as a verb?). Then, just to make a top day even topper (it accepts "topper" and I only just made that one up), Jimmy Jirgens (who once didn't play football for Latvia) came over to my humble studio to record some vocals and guitar for the new Pillow Talk album (and also to eat some Garage-bought inedible wrap- must start eating those myself too). I gazed on in star-struck awe. I even got a chance to record a couple of rough guide bass parts for my heroes. Later, after they'd departed we noticed they left some muddy footprints on our hallway- unfortunately Dawn was out with the hoover before I could explain how valuable they were. Just imagine, I could have poured super-glue on them and preserved our very own Pillow Talk muddy footprints for posterity!"
Renato Tribuzy	Monday 20th September 2004 "My mate from Brazil, Renato Tribuzy came over to visit for a few days. You may remember I went out to Rio last year to record bass on his forthcoming album "Execution" (also featuring guest appearances from Bruce Dickinson and Michael Kiske). Oh, how I laughed at his coping with British autumn! While he was off guard, I convinced him to guest on some of this Sack Trick stuff we've been recording. He sang a couple of full volume metal lines for us, just enough to frighten the neighbours."
Stu Hamm	Friday 17th September 2004 "Me, Al and Benny went to Brighton Institute of Modern Music to see a Stu Hamm bass clinic. He's been one of my favourite bass players for many years now. It's his fault I started ruining songs like Stairway to Heaven. He was of course absolutely amazing and a very funny guy. I came straight home, plugged in my bass and drank enough beer to convince myself I sounded like him."
Almost there	Wednesday 15th September 2004 "The final piece of the Secret plan has been put in place...await results....."
Plan A	Wednesday 8th September 2004 "Went to see the next best thing to a Sack Trick gig. That is: loads of other Sack Trick members playing a gig while I stand at the bar enjoying the view. First up was a real blast from Drug of the Nation (featuring Sack Trick's own Spreader and Damonski), then the beloved Plan A (featuring Sack's Trick's own Jef Streatfield and Gary Mills), followed by a totally rocking set from TAT (featuring Sack's Trick's own Robin Guy and Spreader once again). Three excellent bands and no effort whatsoever on my part.......yes we'll have to get them all on my Total Rock show."
Roo Shredding	Tuesday 7th September 2004 "Just when I thought Reuben "the Impaler" Gotto must have forgotten all about my birthday he turned up with the best present of all- his guitaring skills! He shredded like a shredder on shreddies all over some Sack Trick stuff we've been recording. Benny and Robin have already done the drums. But hey, let's get this Kiss album released before I start on about that."
Weissbier	Saturday/ Sunday 4th/5th September 2004 "Celebrated my birthday over two days. The first of these days I spent at Beaulieu Manor with my posh mates like RJ, Rich Baker, Tony Hadley and Metal Jay (who's now allowed back in the metal club after producing his CD of Holy Diver). They got me a cake and everything, cos they're posh. The second night I spent in the company of my sweetheart Dawn, John from the old King's Head, Roly from Bittersweet and Robin Guy who turned up late to give me an inflatable doll repair kit (just in time actually). I also got such great presents as a Dokken DVD and the first Gene Simmons solo album on CD. And Benny the Calvert celebrated my birthday by going all the way to Germany to drink a Weissbier on my behalf. Who could ask for a better birthday?"
The young Stan	Thursday 2nd September 2004 "If you'd just invented a time machine where were you go? Well, I put together a make shift time machine this afternoon and knowing they were short of a bass player, went back in time to 1966 to join Paul Stanley's school band Uncle Joe just before they recorded their demo at Mayfair studios, New York. You can click here for an MP3 of us playing together with Paul (or Stan as his friends kept calling him) and Matt on guitars, Neil on drums and me playing bass!"
The Kiss solo albums	Tuesday 31st August 2004 "I just fixed my turntable after about 10 years of it lying dormant. What to listen to first? There's so many albums I've not heard in all that time...Black Sabbath- Live Evil? Quiet Riot- Metal Health? Keel- United Nations? No, it'll have to be the four Kiss solo albums in order of brilliance- Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss....I've got a great night lined up!"
Edwin Morris	Sunday 29th August 2004 "My old School mate, Edwin Morris has just released a solo album on Bedroom Brain Records (you can download tracks from it at their website- it's pretty way out there!). Ed's always been one step ahead of me. He got into Ozzy before me, lost his virginity before me and now gets to release a solo album before me! I'll catch him up on all three one day..."
The Olympic logo!	Friday 27th August 2004 "Congratulations Belgium on coming 6th in the Women's 400 metre relay! I'm not usually much of a sports fan but I celebrated this near-victory with a few freshly imported Stella Artois. Aren't the Olympics just brilliant? Still I'm glad I restrained myself from entering the contest personally this year, otherwise all that training and stuff would have delayed the Sheep in Kiss Make-up album even more."
George Lynch	Thursday 19th August 2004 "After my recent disappointment at Don Dokken not making an interview on Total Rock the other week, all was set right this week. George Lynch, the guitar hero of Dokken fame answered the phone to chat on my show. Actually I think I might have woken him up by the sounds of it (it was 8.00am in California at the time). But rock waits for no man, and George was up to the challenge, telling us all about his latest album "Furious George", Lynch/Pilson, Lynch Mob and also his curiously brief spell with Ozzy back in '82. I need to know this metal trivia even if have to wake rock stars to do so."
Alex Dickson	Tuesday 17th August 2004 "Went to the Brighton Institute of Modern Music with Sack Trick to do a class for the students on the Kerrang week there. There was some really good young players down there. Me, Alex Dickson, Robin Guy and Benny the Calvert rocked through half a dozen Sack Trick tunes instrumentally...rock was given and also gratefully received by the students."
Ronnie James Dio	Saturday 14th August 2004 "Went to see Ronnie James Dio live at the Astoria in London. Now I've been a Dio fan for a number of years and even I wasn't expecting a show as good as this one. He played every single song you could ever want him to play "Neon Knights", "Last In Line", "Don't Talk to Strangers", "Mob Rules" and most important of all- "Stargazer". The band was the best band I've ever seen him tour with- Craig Goldie, Simon Wright and one of my all time bass heroes....Rudy Sarzo. I was all metalled out, by the end of the night."
Jake E Lee	Wednesday 11th August 2004 "Benny the Calvert came over and we spent the night watching metal videos. We watched some live AC/DC (with Bon Scott), Dio, Badlands, Mr Big and best of all Ozzy with Jake E Lee. Jake rules!"
Alone again on Total Rock	Thursday 29th July 2004 "I really thought I'd just got lucky when I heard Don Dokken was supposed to be doing an interview on my Total Rock show, but he stood me up! We were strangers passing in the night, how could I have known? Now I'm standing in the rain, 'cos he wasn't there for me. Such a fool was I, it should have never been. Should have seen it all before, our interview's worth waiting for. Give me one more chance, I'll wait another another day until there's nothing. I could make it better, I could make it right. Just don't lie to me, Don or treat me like a foo-ool."
Gene Simmons and Eric Carr	Tuesday 20th July 2004 "Made a new webpage with some photos I had ages ago. They're great pictures of a Kiss signing session on the Creatures of the Night promotional tour at the Virgin Megastore in London 1982. Sadly I wasn't there in person...but the photos are so good I thought everyone should see them."
Hoegaarden Belgian Beer	Monday 19th July 2004 "Received a six pack of Hoegaarden cans in the Sack Trick PO Box today from a very generous Belgian friend. Merci Beaucoup!" Q. How good is that? A. Very.
Jimmy Jirgens from Pillow Talk	Friday 16th July 2004 "Went to see the amazing Pillow Talk live at the Half Moon in Putney. As usual my gushing praises would do them no justice (it's starting to feel like I've got a crush on them all). And the pub served Hoegaarden (maybe that helped)."
Cheese's one leg	Thursday 15th July 2004 "Jordan Rudess from Dream Theatre was the special guest on my Total Rock Radio show. He was a nice enough guy but I must admit I've never been a big Dream Theatre fan. Cheese Davis on the other hand was hopping up and down on one leg in excitement at the idea. I'm not saying he's only got one leg, just that he was hopping up and down on one of the two legs he has, and even then only metaphorically."
Si Hutchby getting hammered	Wednesday 14th July 2004 "Made a fansite for Roo, Si and Benny's band. It's called "Twin Zero Getting Hammered" and has pictures of.........think about it.......yes, that's right! Anyone with photos they'd like to contribute should send them into the website."
Steve Harris...not like him	Tuesday 13th July 2004 "A little while ago I recorded some trial bass parts for the Iron Maiden tribute album being done by my mates Henrik and Mattias in Book of Hours. Today I'm happy to say they've been accepted! I did some fretless bossa nova parts for 22 Acacia Avenue. It's not much like Steve Harris at all. I knew last year's crash course in Rio on Brazilian bass playing would come in handy one day (thanks Renato and Moises!). Then again the crash course in Steve Harris style playing I did for those Bruce Dickinson festivals in 2002 helped as well. The parts of the aforementioned Iron Maiden tribute album I heard sound amazing and quite unique. It should be released sometime in 2005."
No image available	5th-13th July 2004 "Me and Alex Dickson have been in a secret studio working on secret plans...I'd love to say more about it but we don't want to spoil somebody's birthday surprise..."
A horse I drew later	Friday 2nd July 2004 "Me and Metal Jay went to the races at Haydock Park with our posh mates like Rich Baker and Tony Hadley. On the way up there Jay played me some of his musical tastes. I should mention here that Jay was the drummer in Sabbat and Skyclad so unsurprisingly he's strictly a post-puppeteer (ie somebody who believes true metal only began from Master of Puppets onwards), whereas I myself am a metal-evolutionist (ie. somebody who believes metal evolved naturally through 60's bands like Hendrix, Sabbath and Zeppelin into its ultimate perfection in the Kiss Mark III line-up). But surprisingly I did grow to enjoy the new Testament album and some Dimmu Borgir too. It pissed it down at the races and our horse came second to last."
Pete Way	Thursday 24th June 2004 "Went to see UFO at the Astoria in London. They were great! Pete Way played bass behind his head and still rocks like a madman and Vinnie Moore (as his name implies) is like a cross between Vinnie Vincent and Gary Moore."
An aeroplane	Sunday 20th June 2004 "Quite a scary flight back from Guernsey. At first the pilot wasn't sure if he would be able to take off with the additional weight of Jef Streatfield's enormous hangover. It was so large in fact that poor Jef over-balanced a couple of times in the airport under the strain of it. Luckily we made it back just in time to see Evil Roo the Impaler cry like a little girl when his van wouldn't start at Gatwick. He didn't actually cry but I added that to make him sound more human."
Sack Trick live in Guernsey	Saturday 19th June 2004 "Sack Trick live in Guernsey! We took to the stage wearing the kind of smiles a chaffinches might wear on a spring morning (if they had mouths instead of beaks, that is). We then transmuted, by means of rock, those smiles onto the audience's faces."
Guernsey	Friday 18th June 2004 "Flew out from Gatwick today to start Sack Trick's one date Channel Islands tour. Just to keep us fit we thought we'd turn up at the airport so late that me and Roo would have to run all the way across three car parks, push past tourists in the terminal and arrive panting in a very sexual way at the check-in. We eventually arrived in Guernsey to an unexpectedly large press reception (well, someone had put an ad in the local paper but that was more than we were expecting) and settled cozily into our hotel for the night with a couple of small drinks, a few pints and a crate of Becks."
A metal classic	Thursday 10th June 2004 "Scott Rockenfield from Queensryche was the special guest on my radio show today. How cool is that? Very cool I thought. He's a nice bloke too, likes a laugh and didn't even mind when I asked him if Rockenfield was his real name. It is! Rock by name Rock by nature."
Bobby the Bus Driver	Tuesday 8th June 2004 "Bobby the Bus Driver has had his say on the controversial new Gene Simmons solo album. Bobby as we mentioned before is pretty good at telling whether an album is shite or not so check his definitive opinion on the new reviews section on his website. I also put a new ceiling in the cupboard under the stairs. That wasn't very metal though, it was more hardboard."
The truly apalling Human League	Saturday 5th June 2004 "Went to see the Human League in Macclesfield. I can confirm that they are possibly the worst band I've ever seen live (and I've seen some shit in my time). I use the word 'live' very lightly there as they were actually humming along to a MAC laptop, which became all too obvious when the aforementioned piece of hardware crashed. Don't you hate it when computers crash? You'd hate it even more if you were relying on it to drag your lack of talent through a gig in front of 5,000 people. So are the Human League metal? No, they're complete shite. If you ever mistakenly buy a ticket to see them 'live', do yourself a favour and ask for you money back before the gig, that'll save a lot of time all round."
Ace Live in 1981	Tuesday 1st June 2004 "After suffering many sleepless nights, I've written a Hypothecital Review of Kiss' Elder Tour. As we all know one of the biggest injustices in Heavy Metal is that we never actually got to see the full Elder Tour performed live. So what would it have been like? Hopefully having got this off my chest will put paid to those recurring dreams once and for all."
Kee Marcello	Thursday May 27th 2004 "Kee Marcello (former Europe guitarist) popped into my Total Rock show with his new band. Thankfully they were all keen Kiss fans so we got on well. At their gig later that night at the Camden Underworld they did a cracking cover of 'Parasite' off Hotter than Hell. So is Kee Marcello metal? Yes, very!"
Roo's posh new car	Monday 24th May 2004 "Roo came by and took me and the Bittersweet boys to the pub in his posh new car. "It's not mine really!" he said cryptically. We were too polite to ask what he meant by this. Roo's not the type of lad to go around joyriding (as we used to call it in my day) so why did he have a posh car? We guessed some movie stars agent had hired it for him so he could drive them around the sites of London tomorrow. Then our guess turned out to be right. Roo is officially a joyrider to the stars...in a very posh car."
Gene's controversial new CD	Thursday 20th May 2004 "Total Rock Radio was another pile of silly metal jumbled up in the corner for your Mum to clear up. That Gene Simmons album has really grown on me (and several Total Rock listeners who have been subjected to it). However the album has not been received kindly by all in the Sack Trick camp. Al Dickson recently told me he thought it wasn't very good (not his exact words which were a bit more colourful but you get the idea). So I'm sending Al's copy to Bobby the Bus Driver (an acknowledeged expert on whether albums are good or not) for final analysis. We await the results..."
Sponder Rockin'	Wednesday 19th May 2004 "Me and Roo went to see Sponder do a very rare live UK appearance at Metro's with some band or other. Sponder was Rockin'! I don't have too many recollections about the rest of the night except that Mada (who sang Maelino on the Sack Trick Mystery Rabbits album) was there too and that Grolsh Lager Beer was served. Just goes to prove what I'd suspected all along, if any four or members of Sack Trick are in the same room they will probably be drunk."
John Keeble	Thurdsay 13th May 2004 "My intentions to play a Total Rock Radio Show full of Maiden were shattered when I found Malcolm Dome had just received the new Gene Simmons solo album, A**hole. Obviously had a had to play six or seven songs off it, I think it's great. To be honest I wasn't expecting much from it but the title track and tunes like Carnival of Souls and Whatever Turns You On are really cool. Then when I thought it couldn't get much cooler Rich Baker (Full member of the True Metal Club) emailed in to request some Blizzard of Oz and then John Keeble from Spandau Ballet (also a member of the True Metal Club) emailed in to request some more rock. To believe that Spandau are not True Metal is a common misconception that I myself once held. They most certainly are True Metal. It's certain members of Sabbat that aren't Metal at all. Never judge a band by it's albums!"
Ricky Gervais	Monday 10th May 2004 "My mate Glyn from Lampeter asked me to play bass on a rock version of "Freelove on the Freelove Highway" from the Office for Ricky Gervais, which he was producing. Rock was thus bassfully applied to the song. I think it may be the first time I've ever played bass to a vocal with the word "Cadillac" in it. Now let's see where it gets released...all of which has put me in the mood for a Maiden day coming up on Total Rock this Thursday."
Metal Matty	Saturday 1st May 2004 "Me and Metal Matty from Magenta launched a new website called Planet Bass. On the surface it's cool website where loads of experienced bass players pass on their knowledge in the form of handy tips and witty anecdotes. It's a good fun read whether you're a bass player or not. But my real underlying motive for the website is to give me a chance to email all me bass heroes just to see if they ever get back to me."
Jerry Hawkins	Tuesday 27th April 2004 "Met up with my mate Jerry Hawkins from the old Atom Seed days to help out with a bunch of South African bands celebrating 10 years of South African democracy with a big party in Trafalgar Square. Jerry wasn't wearing the cow suit he wore last time I saw him but we still had a laugh despite the fact that we were doing a show in pissing rain in a thunderstorm on a metal stage attached to one of London's tallest lightning conductors."
Don Dokken	Thursday April 15th 2004 "Back DJ-ing on Total Rock Radio for the first time in months. We got genuine requests for Richie Kotzen and Dokken! Oh, it's good to give Dokken a blast on air. They never get enough airplay. Why not, Radio 1? I won't be on air next week, instead they've got Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry standing in for me. I hope he plays some Dokken."
Ben Calvert	March 29th- April 2nd 2004 "Me and Benny thought it might be fun to go a little tour round Access to Music colleges across England, teaching kids how to be a rhythm section the Sack Trick way. Roo also guessed it might be fun so came along too. Benny and I just jammed a bunch of Sack Trick songs instrumentally and answered some questions. I don't think anyone learnt much of any use from us but most people seemed to have a good time. So we rewarded ourselves with sausages, chips and beans (Roo didn't have the sausages though because he's a goth)."
Tony Hadley	Feburary 22nd - March 26th 2004 "Thought I'd go and help out on the Tony Hadley/Peter Cox Tour round England for a laugh. Oh, and what a laugh it was! One day I'm having beers and fun with the hilarious crew, next day I'm guesting on bass at the Nottingham Royal Concert Hall playing Highway to Hell with the band. Who would have thought Spandau Ballet and Go West were metalheads? Why was John Keeble wering a Motorhead T-shirt? And what was I actually doing there anyway? More to the point what was Mikey from Sikth doing at the Watford gig? I don't know who's metal and who's not anymore."
My lovely Warwick	Saturday Feburary 21st 2004 "Sack Trick gig in Cardiff at the new Bogiez Club! It was great to get to play lot of bass again, seems like ages. I lost my bet that the dancefloor would clear before our third song and a rockin' gig was had. Metal Matty, Jason and Big Dave came down for a beer as did the Biffy Clyro lads, who were recording their third album round the corner somewhere. Unfortunately the Norwich Sack Trick show had to be cancelled, at least for the meantime..."
The Misfits	Feburary 4th- 19th 2004 "Felt like a sunny holiday so I packed my bags and went off to sell T-shirts for my mates, the Misfits round Spain and Italy. Them and their crew are a lovely bunch of punks. I ended up jamming Strutter with Marky Ramone (who has known Kiss since their early days and even saw them live at the Daisy in '73!!!!!) on Drums and Dez from Black Flag on Guitar in soundcheck in Italy one day. Kiss cover the Ramones- me and a Ramone cover Kiss, full circle!"
Paul Stanley	Tuesday January 20th 2004 "Celebrated Paul Stanley's Birthday by drinking a Stella while listening to the Elder. "Here's to you Paul, even though you are Just a Boy" I said raising a glass in toast. I here rumours he might bring out a new solo album sometime. I know Gene and Ace are doing albums, but I'd rather hear another Paul one right now. Happy Birthday."
A Dr Who book	Monday January 19th 2004 "I've just put a bookshelf up above the stairs, I think I'll put my Dr Who books on it. They're the kind of book I don't need to read every day so they don't need to be within easy reach, but if the Autons or Cybermen do attack I need to be able to get at them in order to pick up handy tips on how best to thwart the alien threat."
Mikey from Sikth	Friday January 16th 2004 "Went out to help out Sikth on tour for a couple of days on tour in Wolverhampton and in London at their sold out show at the Mean Fiddler. Apart from being super nice guys and Racer X fans too, they are also the most freakily talented musicians this country's come up with for a long time. They sound like Dream Theatre on speed and they are the first band since Rush that I know of to bring trees into Metal lyrics, good lads!"
The Kings Head	Thursday January 15th 2004 "Last Total Rock Radio show at the King's Head Live. That means the last rock ever at the King's Head. It's a tough one to take, but with John McKibbin, the old landlord promising to set up a new venue in the area soon, and Total Rock moving to new premises this week, the rock will surely carry on!"
Reuben Gotto	Wednesday January 7th 2004 "Recorded some rough bass parts for Reuben Gotto's new project Twin Zero over at Roo's place on his super new home studio. The recordings feature Benny Calvert and Simon Hutchby on drums, Roo and Bing Garcia on guitar, Dave Cheeseman on keyboards and Karl Middleton from Earthtone9 on vocals. It's super heavy and all detuned way below normal human hearing ranges, epic and by far the heaviest thing I've ever recorded and with that bouncey slamming beat from Benny boy, I think it might win some hearts too."